03 June 2011

No-sex Tantra


A friend of mine went searching for a particular teacher. He was interested to track the old roots of wild, south Indian preferably Dravidian tantra and advaita.

He found exactly who he was looking for –  a Dravidian advaita teacher of an ancient tantric lineage.

Naturally, the fellow was doing as his ancestors had done, sitting in the shade of a wide banyan tree.

Conversation ensued, and over the next few days, my friend was treated to a feast of ancient lore and deep philosophical discussion.

It was a delight to hear of this lineage. We both enjoyed the traditional and fresh expressions of understanding that he had encountered, ignoring our companions a bit rudely.

At some point, my friend commented that in many general and some specific areas, this taste of an ancient teaching had been remarkably similar to what he had encountered around this school.

"Practice too?" I inquired.

"No." He replied. "That was the one startling difference."

"How so?" I asked, intrigued, always interested to discover new methods.

"No sex."


"Well, he spoke of some methods and rituals, but from the moment of his attainment, no sex."

"Did he care to share why?"

"I asked, and he said not all lineages have the same insistence, but in his lineage, it is mandatory. He says that without this condition, the teachings he preserves and continues would have died out thousands of years ago."

There was obviously more to this. I waited in respectful patience, or perhaps hurried him with further questions. Whatever the details, he shared the story.

"The first master of the guru's lineage was apparently a little overwhelmed by his attainment. He was, here and there, a little irresponsible with his powers.

At some point, the Gods got a little annoyed and had a meeting to discuss the issue. Agreeing that something should be done to teach a lesson, but not knowing what lesson, or how it should be delivered, the Gods eventually turned to a Goddess for help.

The Goddess listened to their issue, agreed that a lesson had to be taught and that she would deliver it.

 Appearing before the guru, she danced a dance of sublime seduction. Even though he was past all need, all craving for sex, he was disturbed. This was, after all, a Goddess working him over.

She evoked his arousal and, far far worse, his ejaculation. Just with her dance.

The guru was, as the English would say, unmanned.

From that point on, he taught that no-sex was essential to the survival of his teaching."

I digested this for a while. This variation on a story I had heard often had got my attention.

I knew from my own experience that chastity is a comfortable and perfectly available option once the lean-pig hunger of sexuality stops. Even if sex continues for teaching, fun or any other reason, ejaculation is optional, and some choose to never do that.

I considered what difference it would make to my life and teaching if I had inherited or developed such an insistence myself. My first impression would be that it would be a lot easier.

Easier because … well, because …

Suddenly I saw the why, the reason behind this far away guru's no-sex insistence.

I rejoined the conversation, which had barely paused while i had swum in thoughts.

"So, was he enjoying his irresponsibility?"

"Like what?" My friend, not sharing my particular curiosity, was a little confused.

"Well, you notice the difference between his lifestyle and mine?"

My friend looked around the quaint 3rd world cottage I inhabit. "Not that different."

"Not that, and sure, if we had proper African heat in winter here, I could enjoy a banyan tree too. I mean the difference that comes from his no-sex thing."

He looked at one of the companions we were almost ignoring, a Dakini he has known as long as he has known me. She was smiling, obviously a step or two ahead of us males.

"The difference is…" He said, looking from her smile to mine "You get bossed about by them."

"Yes. They keep me on the straight and narrow." This got a laugh from the Dakini, who then got involved in discussing more interesting things with my daughter.

"According to the Dravidian guru, you are vulnerable to them."

"Yes. When I get irresponsible, they are there to slap me immediately. Hence I do not push things so far that divine intervention is required. At least not yet."

"And he is safe from that kind of trouble …" my friend mused.

"He is safe from much more than that."

"Like what?"

"Well, as you know, I take my direction from the Dakinis." This earned me a derisive comment from one of our unnamed companions, which I choose not to repeat. "More or less, anyway." Another derisive comment which I manfully ignored.

"Your friend in India, however, gets to decide how he teaches, who he teaches, the context that suits him and so on. If he had…" I smiled at the source of derisive comments "If he had such wonderful supports and guides for his teaching, he would do …"

"A hell of a lot more, for sure." My friend replied. "He really has some very cool stuff, and a strong energy, but he is not interested in traveling or being very welcoming. It is kind of a pity …"

"I don't know about that." I interrupted. "He is right about it being essential to the survival of his lineage, to the preservation of knowledge and method."

"But, now, with the world enjoying these teachings, he could do so much more."

"Well, for now at least, his no-sex thing seems to be keeping him safe. I am sure if that has to change, the right Goddess will be there to sort things out."

11 February 2011

What happens in a tantra session?

I am so often asked this question and wonder how can I possibly explain ( or make flat ) the mystery of a tantra session. Every word I pronounce seems a shadow of the experience.

So today I call the land of words to bear you into this mystery.. om namah.

Firstly people arrive at the door for a number of reasons ..

All things sexual

Sexual healing .. Sexual mastery .. Sexual confusion .. Sexual fulfillment (wanting a sexual service).

The relationship dance

Drama ..confusion .. challenges .. ultimately resolving the age old masculine - feminine conflict.

Reclaiming the true feminine

Accessing the goddess and calling the return of the feminine that has been denied for the longest time ever.

Reclaiming the true masculine

Meeting and living from the true masculine and dropping the distortion -replacement of patriarchy.

Wanting to be a better person and live a better life

Wanting to know or understand the true self

Unresolved pain and rage

A dakini can also be a very powerful guide in terms of career and power strategy as she has come to a deep understanding of this energy in herself and she is also an exquisite muse and midwife of all creative endeavours.

What I have come to see as a tantrika or what has been my occult or hidden intent in the session ...

My first love is awareness. I did not always know this. I was interested in money and survival, how to have orgasms and experience bliss and pleasure in my life, how to attract a beautiful man and be in a sweet togetherness, how to get on with others and also be true to myself and always very interested in the mystery of that which is not seen or easily tangible ..existence god soul.These were some of my interests along the way as it is for most human beings.

But what I have come to know is that all of these interests were ultimately teachers and guides of awareness.

So what is awareness? Before I knew awareness in the same way as a lover comes to know her beloved, I believed awareness was about knowledge. If one learnt enough about things and life and people then you would know how or what to do in any given moment or experience, but it is not this at all.

Awareness is a tangible presence; pulsing, alive and fully available in the moment beyond thought or any knowledge.. the delightful, delicious, spontaneous participation moment to moment sans mind.

This is what I teach or share...

This is not to say that a tantra session may not look like an intense exploration of one's sexual healing and or mastery , relationship dynamics and the exploration of the truth of reality but in this exploration there is always and foremost the subtle calling and befriending of awareness.

One finds that yes tantrikas are deeply and sincerely interested in sexuality and tantric sex is beyond all imagination. I would never have known such sex was possible without experiencing it for myself.

But this interest is the carrot of Existence that brings you to awareness and when you taste this awareness then the interest shifts. From super amazing sex to awareness, from delightful relationships to awareness. If awareness is first all that we seek, desire and long for follows. Perhaps not as we THOUGHT it but as it it sweetly is..

If I can assist in calling awareness into your being than you can meet any moment in totality and truth sans the reactive and conditioned state that you currently know as yourself.

Whatever happens in a tantra session the intent is to befriend awareness.

The tantric way is the path of the lover. The dakini guides you into falling in love with your self, your fellow travelers and finally the moment and then awareness is met in the core of your being as your constant lover companion where all else follows.

I offer tantra sessions in Johannesburg to women, men and couples. A session is approximately 2 hours long and much happens in a session. You will be very surprised at what you walk away with. If you remember the scene from Matrix where Neo is hooked up to the computer and information is being downloaded. He looks up and says " I know Kung Fu". Tantra sessions can have a similar feeling.

If you are interested in a session please email me shima@shima.co.za.

I will be offering a tantra practitioner training later this year. If you feel you have the calling for this work or are already in a similar field and would like to bring the tantric understanding into your work please let me know.

Shima opening Lotus