07 December 2008

Primacy of the feminine in Tantra

We are whole beings, divided into masculine and feminine aspects (and every other sort of division, but let's stay with this one).

Learning how love works with a man and a woman, doing "conventional" relationship, gives us the necessary insight, experience and EQ to start the inner love affair of our own masculine and feminine.

It is the feminine aspect which must be willing to want something (out of all the generalised wanting, a specific), consistently, reassuring the male aspect that his energy is appreciated and wanted … and to thank the male aspect when he delivers!

The revelations of this dynamic in relationship support the same cooperation in the individual. We all need to have a cooperation between our feminine, wide-angle view of what we want and our masculine one-pointed focus which enables achievement.

Being polarised to an exclusive masculinity or femininity is an unfortunate (but common) distortion.

Completely in the feminine = being immobilised from almost any action, because there is a fear of then not getting to do all the possible alternative actions. Also, the awareness that everything affects everything else, taken too far with no balance, results in fearful inaction.
The feminine aspect has to learn to "want". To select from the myriad possibilities by accepting the painful understanding that things must usually be achieved one thing and one step at a time. In the absence of a masculine aspect to take action, the feminine becomes slothful and destructively indulgent of "low" concerns. TV and pastries.

Completely in the masculine = Ploughing ahead with one pointed focus, oblivious to incidental and consequential factors.
The masculine aspect, particularly in the warrior archetype, has to learn to be directed, to take commands. The warrior needs a Goddess to serve. In the absence of the Goddess, the hunger of the warrior for command can lead him to take direction from even a masculine authority: royalty, a military command structure, a college fraternity, a corporation or some other form of gang.

Cooperation, which leads to integration looks much better:

The feminine selects a specific wanting from her range of wanting (this is the difficult bit), asks for it from the masculine, keeps an overview of the situation, continues to want the chosen specific (another difficult bit) and offers congratulations on completion (easy to overlook but surprisingly important) before setting the next objective.

The masculine takes the direction (this is the difficult bit) of the feminine, and does the one-pointed obsessive thing. Accepting correction/adjustment along the way, in response to the wider perception of the feminine is tricky, and praise on completion is of significant importance for future cooperation.

Finding this cooperation in relationship (where both often take turns over time playing out their masculine and feminine aspects) is a step towards applying this understanding to one's own inner m+f aspects. This approach can result in a fondness between these aspects and mutual appreciation for the strengths and usefulness of the other. This brings them into friendliness.

When inner masculine and feminine aspects are friendly, they can make love, unite and become one complete being, just as in the cultural soulmate myth.

The friendliness is essential. Techniques exist for inducing "inner lovemaking", but without some significant and sincere friendliness within first, things can get a bit ugly. This is the reason these techniques are seldom written down and are hidden (occluded) from students until there is clear readiness.

The overview and guidance of Tantric practice requires a feminine open awareness, sensitivity and responsiveness, well served. The depth, intensity and totality of Tantric practice requires strong masculine energy, well directed.

This is why in Tantra, the truth of the primacy of Feminine energy is respected, especially the wild/unreasonable/fierce/chthonic aspects expressed in Goddess form as Tara and Kali.

So, as a male founder of a school, I chose a nice simple primary directive for my one-pointed focus: Remind Dakinis of their vocation, support their flowering, and encourage them into the fullness of their teaching.
Existence has been bounteously supportive of my endeavors. Never before me has any teacher been so blessed with students of such readiness, aptitude, totality and sincerity!

Wendy, Shima and Shakti … encounter any of these teachers, and you'll find Tantra is as complete, healthy and as powerful and as challenging as ever it was. These women are Tantra.


  1. very true musings on the outcome of inaction induced by totally feminine response... For many years I felt like a failure after unsatisfactory outcomes in my career (I was a critical care nurse with a superspecialisation in resuscitation). When in these emotionally distressing situations I reverted completely to the feminine and could never understand, when reflecting later, how my application of intuition, feminine openness to all the complexities and subtleties in these intense situations would fail to produce the high standards that i sought (wanting to address the patient and their family in totality not just a task/ physical sense)...and how frustrated I got with the focus on individual tasks by other practitioners. I was overwhelmed by all the pain of the situation on a human level, and never able to reflect accurately on the processes going on inside myself. I still believe that operating from integration would achieve the highest results in this sphere of human activity..I feel sadness tht i could not contribute from my own fullness, adn also understandign for my self that my struggle was part of my own journey, that its consequences where not my "fault". That these small understandings we give oruselves when we relasie them are a gift worth cherishing. So thank you for articulating so well, some murky truths. They help.

  2. Anonymous10:35 am

    Thanks Rahasya,
    this clears a lot of nebulous perceptions about painful experiences in relation ships !