A recent question, not answered in our FAQ:
Does Tantra require guided lessons by a third party, or can a couple learn through reading , and maybe dvd’s?
To answer the second part first: There’s for sure a lot to be learned throuh reading and DVD’s. Healthy, experimental, devotional and even meditative sexuality can be read about, techniques attempted and so on. Intellectual curiosity can maybe be satisfied and a lot of useful awareness can be gained. A couple that each have an interest in sacred, conscious or even just great sexuality can learn much and gain some very useful hints along the way from the literature, video and web resources these days.
Now back to the beginning .. “Does Tantra require guided lessons by a third party“
In the sense that some technique can be acquired, some understanding can be had .. no, not necessarily. That said, even at this level of interest, just dabbling, any guidance is definitely useful.
For those (couples and individuals) that are intent on Tantra as a path, that feel a need for a spirituality that is inclusive of their sexuality, contact with a teacher or teachers is pretty much indispensable. In my own experience, in a long marriage, there was a genuine desire, and significant intent to be or become each others’ teacher, each other’s support and fellow student. I think we did remarkably well with this, but I believe that the teachers we encountered taking groups, workshops and such were essential to us. There’s things that can be communicated in person that no amount of words or pictures can convey and a teacher can often point out blind spots, areas of unconscious avoidance. A teacher can also kick ass when necessary.
At a level of commitment to Tantra as a path, a teacher or fortuitous sequence of teachers becomes pretty much mandatory, essential and almost unavoidable. The old saying “When the student is ready, the master appears.” applies. What’s called synchronicity seems to come into play.
“Working” with a teacher can involve all sorts of things: Meditations, activities, suggestions in key areas of life and so on.
The most important aspect, with Tantra, and likely with other paths too is the teacher being a catalyst for what needs to happen in you. When you’re close to a teacher that’s appropriate for you, things in you that have been waiting to happen – just spontaneously start happening.