21 June 2006

Sex and God

What is the relationship between sex and God? How can we talk about sacredness and sex in the same sentence?

These are questions that I felt in the room during a men and women's evening I held in the last month. In a beautiful, soulful exploration of their unconscious patterning, participants came up with memories such as:

I was raised to believe that my dingelong would fall off if my 'did that' to it. And the idea of S-E-X. Baddd. Very sinful. Not part of the Christian way of life. Unless of course it is done
a) in wedlock
b) under the covers
c) in the dark
d) quick and
e) only to make babies, not for pleasure.

In time, more liberal notions started to allow for some pleasure, provided all the other conditions are met.

The difficulty, really, is not with Christianity, but with dogmatism that stems from the need to find security in tribal beliefs (and judgments). One man who has been struggling with this dilemma told me that he is left in the dark around the sexual, since Christ it 'so clearly asexual' in his portrayal in the Bible.

Later, in our conversation, we explored another possibility: The possibility that Christ was in fact a revolutionary, not an institutional man who wanted conforming; the possibility that Christ stood for radical truth, in the body, in total presence, and with full embracing of the sacredness of embodied life. What opening to bliss that brings! How it sings into the spirit of Christ (and Mary Magdalene!)

Existence has also given me the rare gift recently of seeing what happens when a denial of sexual awareness goes with extreme religious dogmatism. I encountered two people, both of whom have suffered from sexual abuse in their earlier years and have suppressed this memory, and both of whom are fundamentalist Christians. The result for both of them has been full-on or near scizophrenia. The fracture, extreme denial and resistance to their experience has resulted in both of them literally splitting off into different personalities or seemingly being possessed by 'demons'. This psychological profile may be a greater potential for some people, but it is so clear to me that a suppression of sexual memories and experience linked to fear-driven religious dogma is the perfect recipe for dis-integration.

I feel such compassion for these two struggling people. And I am grateful to them for the gift of their message. Look for yourself whether somewhere inside you those two realities - God and Sex - don't sit so well together. And if you can find that discomfort, explore why.


  1. Thanks for sharing that, Shakti beloved.

    What you do with supporting men and women to awareness worth calling awareness goes far beyond any conventional (or conventionally unconventional) healing "modality".

    And I see.. if they have "ears to hear" that you're supporting experiential awareness here too.

    Thanks :)


  2. The "scizophrenia" to which Shakti refers is the common understanding of the word, which means a degree of personality-separation, not the Psychological term, which is related to hypersensitivity, visions etc. although this too can be induced by the fundamentalist religious approach to denying what you know.

    Personality separation or "multiple personality disorder" is generally induced by severe trauma in childhood. Variations of this have allegedly been practiced on adults in advanced military and other purposes. To a significantly lesser extent, strongly enforced (spare the rod...) fundamentalist beliefs do a similar thing.

    An example of this is a person that's learned to be "really good", a light, a moralising force to their community, or an outstanding example. Stir in a couple of really deep, unhappy love affairs, which ended either in guilt on account of sucumbing to the sexual or in disagreement over the wisdom of taking on a lifetime's commitment without really knowing, so to speak, what one's getting into. Stir that up, sweeten it with a real and deep devotion to an asexual icon and what do you get?

    You get a second personality, quite a new presentation alltogether. All it takes is a significant dose of alcohol, which releases repression, and guess who's doing tequilla body shots.

    In a still reduced, yet significant form, this manifests in the fact that very few Westerners engage in sexual activities without alcohol being involved.

    more on this kind of "schitzophrenia" at


  3. Thank you Shakti, for your much needed comments.
    I have a 2-year background of being deeply involved with a fundamentalist Christian church and understand fully the kind of judgements imposed on one. I was there as a seeker of the truth and for many months thought I had found it. The people were friendly and kind, the charismatic church services most enjoyable, my experiences of and in prayer went deep...until I was "sold" on it and the repressions began.

    The list of the wrongs, the bad, the evil things in life became longer and longer. Bravely (after all I wanted the truth), I tried my best to contain what I was being taught, suppressing my own objections one by one in the name of Jesus, until I slowly began to realise my view and vision of God became smaller and smaller than it had ever been in my life before. God became so small, almost helpless against all the evil in the world, that I lost my faith. Along with that, I lost the joy of and my zest for life.

    One of the main areas of suppression was the expression of my or any sexuality. While vitality, expression, enjoyment and real compassion disappeared and could not grow, restrictions and a judgemental attitude towards my self and others grew proportionately. Life became shallow, I became small minded and God, the great Almighty, became so weak next to the great evilness of life itself.

    After months of inner objections I managed to begin separating myself from the dogmas I was being taught. It took many, many months of sheer hell before I could face myself and say a huge inner and then outer NO, this limited and limiting God cannot possibly be the great Creator of all life itself. The separation from the church and this way of thinking was extreme for me. I was a sinner with evil desires and many fears until I could finally find the strength to break away and come through, growing to become the person I am today.

    God is now great, the greatest, the All, the fullness and wonderfulness of life, Life itself. God is Existence. And what is more, I am a creation in His image – no less than that. I have come to understand myself to be part of this huge Existence. In me flows this all encompassing energy making me the happiest I have ever been. In this happy state of being, I am able to be compassionate, caring, loving towards my fellow man and in so doing, be in a position to be of a giving, as opposed to a needy, nature. And with this, there is no longer a need to be judgemental in any way.

    My journey getting there was through path of Tantra. By freeing myself of sexual and other repressions, I am now free to love unconditionally - myself, my fellow man and life itself. Today I am filled with a deep gratefulness for the gift of life -it is the greatness of God in my every pore. My deepest wish is to to reach others in a similar struggle, to be an encouragement to those seeking the truth about themselves and life.